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There’s a scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding where the mother and aunt are conspiring to get the father to agree to an idea.

Rather than ask him directly, for fear he’ll say no, they have to make him think it was his idea all along.

Funny, yes, but an important insight, too.

Because what they are trying to avoid is something called “reactance”.

In other words, if you tell me what to do I’m going to do the opposite!

Reactance is a big problem in business because it means great ideas and so...

It’s easy to be patient when you have a lot of time.

It’s easy to be generous when there’s nothing on the line.

It’s easy to pick up rubbish when you know a bin’s nearby.

It’s easy to follow others without really knowing why.

It’s harder to stand up and out, and risk attracting hate.

It’s harder to define yourself and not believe in fate.

It’s harder to say less, not more. To listen, and really hear.

It’s harder to put down your arms, and love the ones you fear.

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It's natural to b...

I end my email newsletter with the following:

“When you know how to change behaviour, you can change your world.”

Your was deliberate.

I could have said the world, but that seemed grandiose.

By your I mean whatever you define your world to be. 

That could be your community, your business, your family.

Because it’s your behaviour and the behaviour of those around you that you can influence.

How well you influence, that’s entirely a question of technique.

If you found this interestin...

Have you noticed?

When someone does what we want, it’s because we are genius communicators. We credit ourselves for knowing how to convince people to change their behaviour.

When they don’t do what we want, we blame them. They don’t get it. They’re stubborn. They don’t listen to reason.

This is the fundamental attribution error: Blaming (or crediting) the person rather than the context.

Let’s be clear, though.

Influencing someone isn’t a superpower.

It’s a process.

👉A repeatable, learn...

“Introverts don’t feel they know enough about a subject until they know almost everything.”

This hit me between the eyes. 

Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert Advantage, goes on to explain that introverts:

• Can imagine the vastness of any subject;
• Have experienced brain-lock, so over prepare to avoid going blank, and
• Don’t talk about what they are thinking, so don’t receive feedback and perspective on how much they already know. 

If you want to know why I study and apply behav...

Your job will never be as easy as it is today.

I’m not talking about AI and other technologies.

I’m talking about hindsight.

You’ll look back and think life was easy.

Because things will only get more chaotic, more complex and more compressed.

If that thought exhausts you, there’s no better time than now to learn how humans are wired to make decisions, because that’s something that won’t change.

Here's how.

When real estate legend Barbara Corcoran advertised for new staff in the competitive New York market, she wrote three simple words.

“One empty desk”.

Not only did this differentiate hers from the pages of ads seeking “sales person”, it hit a major psychological button.

Scarcity.

👉 In a world of content abundance and scant attention, how can you make what you do, who you are, scarce?

Learn more about how to influence action using behavioural techniques.

We employ people to make our lives easier.

So why doesn’t it always feel that way?

👉 Because they either don’t do what we want or they don’t do it in the way we want.

Then, to change what they do, we assume what motivates us will motivate them.

Can you see the problem?

👉👉 When we’re ‘me’ centric - seeing the world from only our point of view - we’re likely to find fault in how others behave if it doesn’t match our expectations.

It’s them. The problem is always them. 

Yes, maybe. People...

Telling someone no can feel uncomfortable.

So we might put it off.

Let it drift.

Convince ourselves that they know it’s a no because we haven’t given them a yes.

It gets easier as time passes. The guilt subsides. The awkwardness. New pressures and decisions steal our share of mind.

But what about theirs?

As someone who has to often wait for others to make a decision - will we proceed or not? - a thoughtful no is all I want.

I want to hear the no, not so I can talk you out of it, but so...

When an indoor plant is struggling, our instinct is to give it more water.

But that can drown the plant, making it worse.

Some managers are like this, and far too many sales people.

They can tell the person they are engaging with is struggling, but they keep talking anyway.

They share more advice or more information, which only adds to overwhelm.

Overwhelm is one of three core issues when you are trying to influence behaviour, along with Apathy (I can’t be bothered) and Anxiety (I’m worr...